Why I love Fall.

Fall is finally here. I can see the change in the morning light. The air feels crisp and smells like trees and damp earth. I welcome her with open arms and sheer delight! Because with Fall the memories are so easy to reach. All of my senses take me back to the loveliest places...a family trip to Zion, hiking with Dad, trick-or-treating with friends, rainy days in elementary school, visits to Oak Glen with my Aunt Ellen, the smell of hot apple cider and cinnamon...

And more recent memories of love. The butterflies in my chest as I stood alone in that little room looking out through the lace curtains at my husband to be. The last of the wedding party slowly and carefully making their way down the uneven path. The golden late afternoon sunlight shining through the pretty twisted trees that shaded our guests.


And the music stops.

sweaty palms,
nervous stomach,
deep breaths.


Here we go.


Holding my bouquet making sure that Dad's pocket watch was properly attached and displayed. I think he walked with me that day. I felt a certain comfort that only he could give me.

My Godfather knocks. "OK kid, this is it. You ready?"

"Yes. I am ready."

I placed my arm in his and we headed down the uneven pathway that led to Erik. Uncle Ron and I made a deal that if one of us fell then the other would fall down too to share in the moment. Lucky for us there was no need for such self sacrifice. Carefully we passed the musicians, friends, family, and some unfamiliar faces...but mostly familiar and loving faces. There were some people there who would end up getting their panties in a bunch because of where they were sitting or because I didn't get around to saying much to them at the reception. Ahhh...weddings. But for now they smiled as they should.

I don't remember who was out in the crowd. I think I only looked out there twice. My eyes were happy and fixed on my groom. The man who had suddenly showed up and awakened my heart only a year earlier. It was a summer night when we were talking in a parking lot in the bed of the El Camino and somewhere in the long hours of conversation I knew beyond a doubt that he was my "one".

As I stood there trying to be completely present...trying to absorb everything, the words of love and blessings from Father John and Pastor Jennifer, the image of Erik's beaming face into my memory, trying to feel everything...I thought, "You. You are giving your heart to me. And I am giving my heart to you. I knew you were out there somewhere! I could feel you."

I am so glad it was you.